Letting Go

Standing my ground has never been a strong characteristic of mine. I've been a push over and door mat for far too long, and slowly I'm trying to be a little stronger and be able to say NO. So today, I took a step that I've been needing to take for quite sometime. Little did I know it wasn't going to be an easy task.

I have a problem with people telling me they understand how I feel, when I know for a fact they don't. I may be young and people assume that young people don't get tired unless they party until the early mornings. Well over the past three weeks I've been exhausted beyond belief, and the only thing I felt that I had power to change was work. I don't want to share too many details, but after a major bitch fit, I was able to get what I wanted at work, but not without feeling a total lack of respect first.

Something needs to change, and something needs to change fast. I understand I'm going to school to better my future, and not be stuck in my dead end job anymore. However March is still a long ways away. The last straw was broken today. I'm tired of bending over backwards. I'm tired of fixing things when it's not my responsibility to do so. I'm tired of taking the initiative when it isn't even recognized or acknowledged. I'm ready to work somewhere that I don't dread the drive. Somewhere that doesn't require me being up before the sun. Somewhere that I'd be willing to take the initiative knowing that someone would appreciate it, and that it could take me farther in a career that I actually want.

I'm letting go. I no longer owe anything there. I will put in my time and I will leave. I will do my job and just that, nothing more. I'm letting go of what that place is doing to my emotions and mental state. This is just a job, I'm there to make money to pay my bills. It is not where I will be for my entire life, and I no longer feel like it should have such an effect on my life.

I'm learning to let go!