Forever Friends

I've been thinking alot lately about growing up. Sounds like such a silly thing because we are always growing up. But what I mean is growing up and having kids and who is in my life now, wondering if they are still going to be in it 10, 15, 20 years from now, and so on.

High school was not a highlight of my life. I went because I had to. I passed so I could get out. I wasn't a party person, I wasn't a jock, I wasn't a stoner, I was simply me. I didn't have many friends, and the ones I had didn't last very long. Seems to me like most my friendships have fallen apart, aside from the one I share with my husband.

Over the past year or so, a few friendships have grown stronger. I've seen people in a different light, which has caused me to want to keep them in my life, or slowly let the relationship fall to pieces.

Those who I want in my life, I want to be there when my first child is born. Ok not in the actual delivery room, but in my child's life. Aunts and uncles don't have to be blood related, and I have a few people in my life that I want my children to look at as family, as I look at them as family.

So many things can change over the years, people can change, things happen, and more times than not we have zero control over what happens. As I sit here, I try and think about not having these people in my life, and it makes me sad. Not everyone was put in your life, to be in it forever, this I understand. And sometimes I don't have a choice in the matter whether they stay or go.

When my husband and I are older, I want to go out to those dinners with the stories that start with remember when so and so did such and such, or the time that we went to that one place, etc. I want to be able to have those moments, and preferably with the people I feel are supposed to be in my life years down the road.

My gut always told me that my husband was a keeper, that we would be in each other's lives forever. Now that we have said our vows, and made it a year, my gut still tells me the same thing. And I couldn't be happier to share my life with such a wonderful man.

I feel now as though I've found some true friends, the ones that will be by your side when the rest of the world walks out, the ones you can call anytime of the night if you need them and they will come help you. Friends that I feel I've been searching for my whole (short) life.

Time will only really tell if these people will stick around. If I'll be lucky enough to have those dinner conversations, reliving old memories. People that when my kids are telling stories will say aunt so and so, or uncle so and so.

Time has been passing so fast, and I know it will only get faster. For now, I will enjoy the moments with the friends I have, and I can only hope that they will be around as time goes by to enjoy the ride with me.