Scars ... The Middle ... Karma

What an interesting title right? And a second post in one day? What's going on? :)

Anyways, back on track . . .

"I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut, My weakness is that I care too much."
~Scars by Papa Roach

Oh the countless times I've listened to this song growing up. At times I felt it was the only way I felt like someone out there understood how I felt. I have always cared how people feel about me, how people see me, and what they say about me. Ever since meeting my husband, I've gotten a little better. But I still care way too much, and I really hate that I'm that way. Why do I care? Why do I even bother worrying about what other people think, when I'm happy being me? When the decisions I make are strictly for myself and no one else? (Well despite any family decisions made with my husband.)

"Just try your best, try everything you can, and don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away ... Just do your best, do everything you can and don't worry what their bitter hearts are gonna say."
~The Middle by Jimmy Eat World

My mom first introduced me to this song when I was in middle school. I was having a lot of trouble with "friends" and she had my listen to this song. It basically became my anthem, and any time I hear it, I get a little emotional. It ties into not caring what other people say. As long as I'm doing everything I can and everything to the best of my ability, why listen to what anyone else has to say? Why listen to anyone putting me down? As long as I'm happy with what I'm doing and the decisions I make, it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks or says, to my face or behind my back.

Karma
Why do I waste my time worrying, when I know deep down that karma will do more damage and take care of things more than I can. I'm going to just focus on that. Well maybe focus isn't the right word, more like rely. If anyone wants to create a problem with me, I'm going to brush it off. If someone isn't happy with the decisions I've made, so be it. Karma can handle things. It's not worth my time, tears, or stress to deal with things that are an endless battle.

Those words are so easy to type, so easy to say, but not as easy to accomplish, at least in my eyes. But this is my goal, this is my vow. I'm not going to sweat the small stuff, I'm not going to let people get to me, I'm just going to brush it all off.